The Odyssey of the KEYSTONE COP PATROL CAPTAIN’S BELL

Now please bear with me and you shall see

My rendition of a Keystone Cop tradition.

Twas the 18^th of December and all was going well

For I was about to receive the coveted “Captain’s Bell.”

As Gary was talking there was nary a sound

Unbeknown to him there was a “bell thief ‘ around

Santa was gone but Rudolph was busy

She moved so fast it made me dizzy

From around the corner a tiny hand did so quickly appear

And off the mantel, the Captain’s bell did disappear.

As tradition would have it, to the delight of many,

The bell was gone, the smiles were aplenty

The person who snatched it has their work cut out

Treat that bell right and show it the sights

Will it travel to Arizona, the Delta or Foresthill?

If that is so, don’t give the Cops a shipping bill.

Are its travels to be recorded by picture or verse?

If that is true, hopefully I will hear of it first.

Al Swanson did a great job but one thing he did miss

Some say you are still Captain until properly dismissed.

Gary looked bewildered, confused and quite appalled.

John is your Captain, I saw him installed!!!

If I wasn’t dismissed then neither was Roy

What a mess the Cops are in, “Oh my God, boy-o-boy”

John said he didn’t have it so he couldn’t have lost it

But give him some clues and his posse will find it.

John said he is not complete, he needs that damn bell,

Where in the world is it, probably halfway to hell.

By John V. Timblin III, Captain 2004