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Squirt at Heaven's Gate

Clinton died and went to heaven -- or, to be more accurate,
approached the Pearly Gates. After 3 knocks at the gates,
St. Peter appeared."Who comes here?" inquired St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton"
"And what do you want?" asked St. Peter.
"Lemme in!" replied Clinton.

"Soooo," pondered Peter. "What bad things did you do on earth?"
Clinton thought a bit and answered:
"Well, I smoked marijuana,
but you shouldn't hold that against me
because I didn't inhale.
In or about 1960 I abandoned my country & went over-seas
but you shouldn't hold that against me
It wasn't desertion, cause I did return of my own free will.
I guess I had extramarital sex,
but you shouldn't hold that against me
because I didn't really have sexual relations'
And I lied a few times,
but you shouldn't hold that against Me
it wasn't really perjury, was it?."
I sent our young men into a couple of wars,
but you shouldn't hold that against me;
I didn't mean for any one to get hurt.

After several moments of deliberation, St. Peter replied,
"OK, here's the deal.
We'll send you someplace where it is very hot,
but we won't call it Hell.
You'll be there for an indefinite period of time,
but we won't call it eternity
And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering,
just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."

These next links are not intended to offend anyone;
they are merely for fun & hopefully will make you smile.

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This Page Last Up-Dated 04/17/99